Wearing his cutest smile.

I don't know. But I felt thrill yesterday. AS IN KINILIG AKO NG BONGGA. No, just... a little. I don't like Jerome anymore but when he greeted me FIRST yesterday, I felt the same feeling when we're still freshmen. OMG why. 

He said, "Hi Chloe!" wearing his cutest smile, leaning his body towards me. LORD, you're so kind to me. And I said hello back to him, trying not to be awkward and feel as close as his barkada to him. He asked me to libre him as if I'm the guy here and he's the one I should treat on our reunion. But you know, he's only kidding. It's kind of obvious that he's only making it in a usual way, trying hard not to be awkward also. He didn't change his spot, HE'S ALWAYS BESIDE ME. When someone distanced me from him, he tried to make ways of standing beside me. Don't know, but he's always beside me yesterday. Okay. And I could feel his sight on me. What the :">

He is so cute. SOOOO CUTE.

I also noticed his height. Improving! HAHAHA. Last year, hanggang leeg ko lang ata sya. But now, wtf. He's being taller. Up to my eyes, I guess. I know I'm still the taller one, but I don't care. The thing is, he's getting taller and taller and who knows? Maybe next year, he become the tallest of the boys and we become compatible, right? I'm so excited! Konting tulog at vitamins lang Jerome! HAHAHAHA.

The thing is, we're getting close. Closer than ever. I could prove myself that he's better than Charlie. That's thrilling okay. 

I LIKE YOU JEROME! 

Dear Charlie,

I don't know but I think I have to say this to you once and for all.
I'm starting to move on, from you. Even though we're not that close (as you said), and even though we really did note have a relationship, and even though I only like you for some weeks, here I am. Moving on from you.
I realized that I'm stressing myself over you, which is not appropriate because I'm the girl here. I realized that I'm just hurting myself because I always give meanings from your actions, even the tiniest of them feels like nakakakilig to me. I. am. not. a. dictionary. And I really don't want to be hurt again, like I'm feeling these past few days.
Yes, I know. Feelings confuse me. MY OWN FEELINGS. Because of you.
I want to tell you that I wanted to forget you. I feel delighted whenever your name stays on my  chatbox. But I know it won't last forever. I always feel sad at the end because we all know that you can't stay up late. And the only reason you log in every day is because of Erica. Another girl, somebody else. I know I'd be hurt again and again, and so I wanted to distance myself from you even though seeing you from far away with her tears me.
I don't wanna talk about you anymore. But here I am, still typing every word I badly want to say to you every day.
I wish I'd be as beautiful as her. I mean, I wish I am beautiful. I wish I have this beauty that everyone could appreciate. That no man could ignore of whenever I passed into him. So I could easily feel loved. Adored by everyone else. Admired by you, and could possibly act easier because people would love every single thing I do without exerting too much effort.
You've been such a jerk since I've met you.
Please, stay out of my mind.
I don't wanna think about you anymore.
You're such a mess.
Liked you and now wishing of forgetting,
Chloe

Ewan ko. Hindi ko naman talaga trip si Nell eh. Napogian lang ako sa kanya noon pero hindi ko na sya tinititigan kasi baka magisip sya ng masama. Ewan. Ang corny. HAHAHAHA. Tapos ayun nga, magkaklase kami ngayong 2nd year. Kaklase din namin yung ex nya na si Madelene. 

Anyway, madalas akong napapalingon banda sa kanila kasi napakaingay nila lalo na si Edzel. HAHAHAHAHA. Grabe. Tapos may oras na bigla silang tumahimik lahat, wala lang, trip nila yon para isipin namin na may teacher na, tapos nung tinignan namin sila, nakita kong nakatingin si Nell sa akin. tapos naulit yun, dalawang beses, tatlo, apat, palagi. Wala lang. Grabe. Nakaka-ewan. Ang gwapo eh. Hindi ko alam kung anong ire-react ko, naguguluhan ako kasi hindi ko alam kung bakit ganon sya tumingin sakin. Tapos ayun. 

Nakakaloka.

Nung Science kanina, edi nag-group kami. Ewan. Iniisip ko na sana maka-group ko sya. hahaha wala lang, trip ko lang. Kaso ayun, hindi kami naging groupmates. Nung nagsi-seating arrangement na, dun ako sa malapit sa dulo ng second row. Ang katabi ko, si Christian Surara. Tapos si Nell, nasa pangatlo sa likod namin. Basta. Medyo malayo sya. Tapos nung wala pang nakakaupo sa likod ko, sabi nya "dito na lang ako". Basta, pero di naman sya pinayagan ni Miss Rhia. HAHAHAHA. basta para kong timang dito magkwento.

Tapos ayun, nagli-lista ako ng mga pangalan ng groupmates ko. May dalawa akong kagroup na hindi ko pa alam yung apilido. Si Mikaela pati si Christian, yung katabi ko. Si Mikaela, katabi nya si Nell. Tinuro ko si Mika, pero ang unang tumingin, si Nell. Nakatitig lang sya sakin. Ang pogi, grabe. Akala nya siguro sya yung kakausapin ko. Grabe. Tapos ayun, nung magpa-plan na kami, tinatanong ko sa sarili ko kung sino si Christian Roland. Hahaha, tapos tinanong ko yung katabi ko kung kilala nya yun. Sabi ko, "Uy, kilala mo si Christian Roland?" tapos sabi nya oo daw. Sabi ko, "sino yun? Hahaha ano apilido non?" sabi nya hindi nya daw alam. Nakangiti sya sakin, ang awkward, nginitian ko na lang din sya. Tapos biglang tumingin si Nell samin. Bigla ko na lang naisip na baka sya yung Christian na yon, tapos langya, sya pala talaga. Baliw lang. Tumawa ako tapos nilapitan kami ni Nell. Tinitigan ni Nell ng masama si Christian tapos ngumiti sa kanya si Christian tapos nagusap na sila. Di ko na sila pinakialaman.

Nung nagpa-plan na kami, maayos naman. Sobra. Kasi andon yung kaklase ko na magaling magdrawing. Tapos ayon, napansin ko si Nell, wala sa meeting ng mga kagroup nya, andon sya sa likod ko. Nakikinig sya sa mga sinasabi ko. Grabe. HAHAHAHA. Tapos ayon, nung natapos na, nilipat ko na yung upuan ko paharap kay Nell tapos umupo sya sa harapan ko tapos tinaas nya yung mukha nya, na sobrang lapit sa akin. As in sobra talaga. Pinikit nya yung mga mata nya. ANG POGI GRABE. Tas yun, sumipol sya. 'hinahanap hanap kita' ata yun.

Tuwing nakikita ko sya, palagi syang tumitingin sakin. Syempre tumitingin din ako sa kanya para malaman kung titingin sya sakin.

Pagkauwe, nagpost ako sa tumblr, sabi ko, may crush ako sa room, tapos sa hule, "joke hahhaa. ewan." tapos nabasa ng mga kaklase ko. habang nagcha-chat sa group, sabi nila, "CHLOE SINO YUNG SINASABI MONG CRUSH MO SA ROOM?"

Tapos sabi ni edzel ng mabilis, "si Nell daw"

Wala lang. Paano naman nya nalaman? GRABE HA. Tsaka sa lahat ng pwedeng i-papartner sakin, bakit si Nell pa?

Tapos sabi ni Nell, "ang alin?"

Naisip ko lang, bakit ang bilis nyang sinabi yon? Ibig sabihin ba non matagal na syang nanonood sa chatbox namin? Kasi kung don nya lang tinignan, edi sana matagal pa sya bago sya magtanong ng 'ang alin' diba? Nagkukunwari lang kaya syang walang alam?

Tapos sabi ko hindi sya yung crush ko, I mean, wala akong crush. Chu chu chu. After few seconds, may pinost na si Edzel. (above)

EWAN. Kinikilig ako onte. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA dyoks =)))

Parehas kaming hindi nagreact na masama yun. HAHAHA may meaning yun ha =)))

Naalala ko tuloy nung first day, una nya akong chinat. Puro smiley. HAHAHAHA tapos pinapahaba nya yung usapan namin, eh alam nya naman kung ano yung sagot sa mga tinatanong nya. HAHAHAHA kaso hindi ko sya inentertain kahapon kasi busy ako. Sayang -_- Close na sana kami ngayon HAHAHAHA TAE SECOND DAY PALANG LANDI NA NAMIN!

Hindi ko alam kung crush ko na si Nell. Interesado lang ako sa kanya. Alam ko namang hindi yun stick to one at sasaktan nya lang ako balang araw. Pero ewan. Yoko na nga. Tinatamad na ko magkwento.