Post-birthday feels

I don't know what to feel.

Since I'm not a really 'ma-celebrate' type of person, I think what happened yesterday was fine to me. I lied to my choirmates that we would go out with the family because I wasn't in the mood to join them for a lunch celebration. When I went home from the mass, I waited for my parents to come home with the food they bought from Bacoor, then we ate, then I chill-ed,  then I slept for three hours, then I watched a movie, then I chill-ed, and basically that was just it. I am more concerned with the people who greeted me in Facebook. I was expecting for some certain people to write a letter for me (ugh, heaven knows how much I love personal birthday letters) or even just to greet me a happy birthday. I was actually stressing myself for the past days about J greeting me, because he might just write to my timeline "Happy birthday Chloe!" and it would be so blunt and I was aiming for a more special one. It turned out, he didn't even greet me either personally or through internet. Aside from that, Cj (my best friend) greeted me in the morning with "Omg it's your birthday blah blah I would just send you my better written message later" and I waited but... I guess, she forgot it? She didn't respond back.

I was almost expecting that maybe PamGen has a surprise for me and these people not greeting me is just a part of their idea. Most of my choirmates didn't write to my wall. Some of them greeted me in the Cathedral bluntly. I was thinking that maybe those were just a 'play', making me disappointed at first to make the surprise bigger. But today, I met with PamGen and they just gave me a personalized - well decorated, as always! - set of letters from just the two of them with paper flowers. I was expecting for more, and I don't know why I did, but I had to appreciate it. Up until now, I'm trying to stop the feeling of disappointment because I still believe that I am much blessed with everything.

Sometimes, it just hurts (a little) when all you wanted was for people to make time for you but they always end up forgetting. I didn't care if our dinner table wasn't full of delicious food or if my wardrobe wasn't filled with new clothes and stuff. All I ever wanted was to feel that the people I care for cares for me back.

Anyway, it sounds sad and upsetting typing this, so I'm just going to talk about today. PamGen and I went to the Enchanted Kingdom, for the first time as three! The travel was quite fast which incredibly amazed me because it felt like Laguna was just 5 subdivisions away. Wearing an orange tag around my wrist also felt amazing because the EK staffs were all greeting me a happy birthday (orange tags are for birthday celebrants who availed the birthday blowout promo). In amusement parks, I am normally the type who keenly tries all the rides available, especially the most outrageous ones, even when I'm super afraid of heights. I was super hayok when we entered, but PamGen was busy taking pictures of us, then themselves. I told them I would follow the line to our first ride and they almost didn't get in with me because they were too slow to walk. And that happened almost the whole time we were there. Too much taking pictures, too slow to move, too much rest, too much decision making (whether to ride the extremes or not). It was a bit annoying, but I did manage to be patient. Plus, they are my real friends and I won't be that rude bitch who will force them to do 'my' thing. If they enjoy taking pictures more than getting in lines for the rides, then I will accompany them. Friends are more important than amusement rides, after all.

I did enjoy though. I wasn't able to ride all the fun attractions (mainly the Space Shuttle)(well I already had an experience from there, though, from 5 years ago)(it's ok!), but we had tried new ones, namely the AirRace and the Realto (i mean it was all our first time in Realto), and Jungle Log Jump (my first time!). I was too scared to try the free fall ride and got discouraged to try the Space Shuttle when the sky turned dark. The new spinning ride beside the Rio Grande was closed.

I guess, we rode enough rides. We all had fun. Enough fun.

When we got to the District on our way home, we went for a coffee in Starbucks. I tried a hot beverage because I wanted to try new, since all I ever order in Starbucks are frappes. While taking my first sip, I didn't notice that the lid wasn't closed well and the coffee splashed in my lap. What a scene. The coffee was quite hot but I wasn't so hurt. Maybe I have a high pain tolerance? Hehe. Then we tried the bean boozled challenge. I don't find the challenge hard at all. I was just laughing at the awful tastes but I can manage. I think my reactions were boring in the camera (because we took a video at every flavor). Pam's are the best, though.

I feel tired right now.

I am happy and thankful because I have a great family and great friends, but deep inside I don't feel quite as whole as I was expecting to feel for my birthday. Some of my hosts did greet me, and I feel so grateful. Some did not, but I understand. The only thing that's bothering me is my special persons not greeting me in my special day. I kind of feel left out.

What's wrong with me? Why do I have to feel this way? I don't know. So lame.

Any way, I still thank You, Lord! You've been with me through everything. I hope I can shine more as how You want me to shine, and let the world see it.

I'm now 17. I look 5 years older, though.