Because I just want you to be there; to stay. I want you to be there when I’m having my stressful days. I want you to be with me through all chilling sessions, mall walks, coffee times. I want to sleep with you. Not in bed of course. I just want to trust you enough to rest my head on your shoulder when I’m tired, without you complaining about how heavy my head is, or stuff; without me worrying if you’d leave after some hours. I want to ride buses with you in cold, luminous nights; walk along busy streets and hold hands; visit book shops and music stores. I want to exchange mixtapes with you. I want you to be the one whom I’ll send cards whenever Valentines Day arrive. I want to spend my sleepless nights with you - just talking about stuff including your worst rants and sarcastic remarks and things that made you happy. Some days, I’d look at you and feel a huge explosion inside my chest, and I’d thank you for surprising me; for walking into my life and deciding to stay with it. 

I guess what I feel for you right now is truer than what I’d expected it to be. 

Wow, what a dumb ass I am. Asking you to stay when you’re not even stepping into my world at the first place. Falling in my dubious idea that we’ll be together someday. 

If only you felt the same way. If only you knew.

Wow. The second post was from a year ago.

Chloe, you're still holding on. I know you do.