Ang funny nyo naman talaga ha ha ha

I know you like him. Like.. seriously, how could you not say you like him when, of all guys, it is he who you always chat up first just to pretend that you're super funny when in reality, you're humorless. You keep on commenting on his pictures when you're not really that close. You even told me that you liked him a long time ago and you feel so sorry to me. It's just that.. why did you feel sorry to me? And why did you bring up that conversation when it was already a long time ago?

No. Not that I'm mad because you like him. I just can't really understand why you are hiding all of these to us. As if we're going to be mad at you. Don't you trust us?

I also hate it when you don't really cooperate with some important matters. Like when we were planning about an event and you're always away and we have talked about everything and when you came back you asked us about everything we have talked such as the fees, the details. Don't you understand our language? Can't you read? You've been gone when we needed you and you're going to ask us everything again? Ugh.
Also when we had that rushed situation and I'm telling you to get up your bed and meet me before anything worse happen and you're going to say that you feel lazy and can't get updadhaosfhao what the hell is wrong with you. Can't you think of other's sake? You only think about yourself sometimes and that really makes me upset.
When we have these important stuff to do, you always make me wait for your answer almost half of the day until we can't go because of the time. Seriously it feels like they don't mean anything to you when they should, perhaps, mean the most to the both of us.
Sometimes you really make me feel upset.

Push and pull

Honestly, whenever you talk to us, it feels like you're just here to show off. The way you talk, it feels like you're just bragging about you being the most updated fangirl, you who knows everything about this and that, you who has everything and you who enjoys vacation the most.
It really makes me irritated.
And how you pretend that you like him when you are falling head over heels with someone else. Why are you pretending? Why can't you trust us?

That's why I don't really like talking to you these days.
Plus, you miss talking to someone else, to your twitter friends. You don't even exert efforts to talk to us. Can't you realize that we don't really talk at all? How could you not miss us? Don't we mean to you?

I never really experienced that moment where someone gives a big effort just to make me happy. And I guess it will take such a long time to meet that someone. And I wonder what that person is doing right now.

Wait

Is that 'someone' still exist?

What really happened that time

Nagbackread ako sa 2012 posts ko. To be honest, nagpapapansin lang ako non sa mga darwin kahit alam ko namang wala silang pakialam tsaka di nila nagegets kung ano bang pinaparating ko. Hahaha. Naglalandi lang din ako non. Napansin nyo, simula nung nalaman kong binabasa nila yung blog kong to, dito na ko nagbablog imbis na sa tumblr? Oo. Landi ko talaga. Hahahaha maski ako nalalandian sa sarili ko.

Dati, kahit mga 10% lang, gusto ko pa ding malaman ng mga tao kung ano ba yung nasa isip ko. I mean, mahirap man sabihin personally pero ayon, sa blog ko na lang nilalabas para man lang malaman nila. At least through blog man lang, nagkakaroon kami ng connections. Pero hindi eh. Narealize ko lang din eventually na I'm still faking it. And I don't want them to absorb my fake feelings. And I don't want them to judge me with my unconscious side. 

I think naapektuhan din ako sa ginawa nila kahit na ilang beses kong sabihin na wala akong pakialam dati. Pero hindi gaano. Hindi naman kasi talaga ako yung tipong kapag may nangyari eh maguulo ulo ng over, kasi nangyari na naman, wala na din naman akong mababago. Pero I think nainis din ako sa kanila non. I have a lot of words to say, gusto ko sanang kausapin sila pero naisip kong hindi ko naman sila dapat ibother kasi wala naman akong kasalanan, alam ko yon deep inside. But still I was hoping them to talk to me, hindi yung through another friend lang, gusto ko yung one on one. And yung fact na hindi nangyari yon, it kinda makes me unsatisfied. Pero sa ngayon wala na kong pakialam don. Matagal na kong walang pakialam don. Ngayon ko lang ulit naisip habang binabalikan yung blogspot ko. 

Nagregret lang talaga ako ng konti sa mga fake posts ko noon. Nagregret ako sa pagiging immature ko, na tipong maggagawa gawa ako ng ibang crush, na tipong pipilitin kong magkacrush sa ibang tao kahit wala naman talaga akong nafifeel sa kanya, para lang ipakitang hindi na ko naaapektuhan sa taong yon. I admit I was really pathetic that time and that was really a big immaturity of me. 

I think I learned alot. 

Alam ko talaga kung sino yung nagsabi non sa kanya. Bago nya pa sakin sabihin yung secret nyong dalawa, alam ko nang ikaw yung nagpakita sa kanya ng lahat. Kinikilig ako nung una. Nagthank you pa nga ako sayo anonymously. Pero ngayon ko lang din narealize na... hindi naman talaga ako dapat kiligin.
Nadisappoint lang ako sayo kasi porket nalaman mo to pati yung mga bagay sa buhay ko, pinipilit mo nang makialam.
Bakit ka ganyan heh heh

And I think I’m not confident enough these days. I always get bothered with my insecurities. And as I see every episode I ask myself, is there someone in this world who would love to do those for me someday? Is there someone who will accept me even if I’m awkward and ugly and not as sweet as the typical girls you could see around? Will someone love me just like how Yonghwa loves Seohyun? 

And then I’m going to ask myself for the second time.

“Who the fuck will fall in love with me? Ugh”

And as I hear your music
I fall in love with you even harder.
And that's really sad.
Because every drop of love I have for you
Tells my mind that there is no chance
Why the heck could I have?
I don't deserve someone like you.
I'm not good enough.
I'm not pretty enough.
I'm not special.

Hala shet ang ganda ng blog ko
Biglang dami yung mga posts ko diba. Hahahahahahahahaha kinapi paste ko lang yan galing secret blog ko okay okay okay
Ang landi ko ngayong mga araw
Hay hay
Wala na ko masabe
Hindi pa ko nakakapagenroll
Changgalang bakasyon to
Imbis na magliwaliw ka lang mamomroblema ka pa kung makakapagenroll ka sa susunod na school year
Tupa
Ang gwapo ng mga bias ko lablats

“Don’t ever dare to give up. If you want something, then go for it.”

“I keep a diary of all my thoughts and most of the time I don’t even think about what I’m writing. Like, when I write about my friends, when they make me angry.. but it doesn’t mean that I don’t love them.”

This is true. This really explains all. There are moments in life that you feel irritated, offended, odd, awkward, intimidated with people around you, even to your closest friends and to the people you cared the most - but you don’t hate them. It’s just that there are, surely, imperfections in life. You may have some little problems with some people but you’ll never take them out of your life because they mean to you. They mean alot. You care about them. And if you care for someone, it isn’t about all the good things. It is about spending ups and downs with them and still have each other in the end.

Pano kaya no kapag may nagpropose sayo someday tapos hindi mo pa pala sure kung yun na ba yung right time para maengage. I mean i mean, parang hindi ka pa sure kung tama na ba yung oras para umoo ka. Alam mo yon. 

Meron bang ganon

Yung parang idedecline mo yung proposal nya

Wala lang wala pa kasi akong napapanood na movie na nagdecline yung babae kung kelan nagpropose na yung lalaki kasi hindi pa sya sure

Pano kung sya na pala yung right guy tapos nagpropose sya kaso hindi ka pa sure kung yun na ba yung tamang oras tapos dinecline mo tapos iniwan ka nya kasi nasaktan sya ng tagus tagusan tapos kung kelang iniwan ka nya tsaka mo narealize na sya na pala yung right guy tapos huli na ang lahat!!!!!!!!!!!

Uki

Hindi ko lang talaga gets 

Pero siguro kung sya naman talaga yung lalaking para sayo, kayo at kayo pa din hanggang sa huli eh no. You’ll find your ways in the end.

Di pa ko naghihilamos ohlala

Tupangina ang ganda talaga ng mga babaeng matangkad tapos payat tapos sobrang puti tapos sobrang kinis tapos maganda buhok shet shet shet

Nagagandahan ako kay Galen. Pero hindi kasi sya yung maganda talaga to the max. Lalo lang syang gumaganda kasi ang gwapo ng boyfriend nya. Ang cute kasi ng ganon. Para sakin mas maganda si Gail. Ang yaman nya kasi tsaka mukha syang sosyal. Kaso ang jeproks ng mukha ng boyfriend nya parang wala sa hulog. Alam mo yon.

Pero nagagandahan din ako kay Khristelle. Ang ganda kasi ng pangalan nya. Tsaka tupangina shet ang ganda ganda ng buhok nya. Tsaka may sense sya. Kahit na ang pandak nya tsaka ang pango nya tsaka nakakaintimidate minsan yung bibig nya. Pero ang ganda ganda nya talaga. Tapos sobrang puti nya pa. Bagay na bagay lahat ng damit sa kanya shet sya. Ayos!

At hindi ko din alam kung bakit turn on sakin yung mga taong magaganda pangalan. Katulad ni Chen. Nung una, kinonsider ko syang lamang sa mga pinagpipilian ko (Tao, Luhan, Kris, Kai) kasi ang ganda ng pangalan nya, ang daling sabihin tsaka ang sarap ipronounce. Tsaka noon din kasi ang gusto kong pilian yung medyo madaming fans, kasi yun yung pinagbabasehan ko kung maayos ba yung pipiliin kong bias, kasi gusto sya ng madaming tao. Noon kasi medyo nadala ako nung nagusap kami nila Thalia tapos tinanong nila kung sino bias ko tapos akala nila gen si kai (pero si kai naman talaga yung angat sa mga pinagpipilian ko nung oras na yon) tapos tumawa sila. Kaya ayon parang gusto ko kapag ako nagkabias hindi sya yung basta basta pagtatawanan ng mga tao. Tsaka gusto ko yung bagay sa taste ko, para kapag nagkabias ako magrereflect din yon sa personality ko. Tapos ayon nga. Diba nga gusto ko ng madaming fans. Eh sabi nila gen si Chen daw madaming fans. Edi ayon final na nga talaga, si Chen yung bias ko. Tapos napagalaman ko na lang na si chen pala yung isa sa mga may least na fans. Hahahaha tupa. Pero ayos lang yon. Minahal ko pa din si Chen. Kasi parang narealize ko na kapag nagkabias ka, wala kang ibang pagbabasihan, hindi na nagmamatter kung madami ba syang fans or kung hindi ba sya yung pinakagwapo sa group na yon. Hindi din nagmamatter kung madami syang haters or what. Susuportahan mo sya at mamahalin with all your heart, despite of all the imperfections and flaws. 

Paano napunta sa usapang bias yung sinasabi kong maganda si galen at gail at khristelle…..

Para kayong timang. Yung sasabihin nyong ‘short girls are the cutest’. Tapos itong mga pandak galak na galak, mamatay matay sa sobrang flattered. Para lang talaga kayong timang. Para nyo na ding sinabing height ang basehan ng lahat. Kung gusto nyo ng pandak shet ligawan nyo yang mga sanggol shet kayo. Hahahahahahahahaha kairita!

Hindi.

Hindi mo naman kasi masasabing lahat ng pandak eh cute. Parang sa lalaki. Hindi lahat ng lalaki mangloloko. Hindi lahat ng babae karespe-respeto, at hindi lang dapat babae ang nirerespeto. Alamuyun alamuyun

Mga tupanginang feeler hahahaha kairita!

I was having trouble in describing my feelings. I always do. I always over think and that causes a lot of complications. I think it’s not love, not as much as I feel for Chen. Because you two are different in some ways. But I like you, and it is the kind of like that has already reached its highest point. And this is crazy because I know I shouldn’t like you. I could, but I shouldn’t. I don’t want to like you, I know I have to stop because I might hurt someone else’s feelings. But these brain can’t stop thinking about you. You are this totally perfect guy, who has the cutest smile that can even melt a girl’s heart, who has this fun and unique personality that anyone can barely discover. And then there’s me, who’s really dorky and has a terrible, messy life. And I know I don’t deserve you. Even Chen. Because you’re too high to reach and I’m too obscure to be noticed. And that’s pathetic.

Now I think I’m feeling ambivalent. I hate you because you’re too perfect. I hate you because you’re too high to reach. I hate you because you’re so attractive and it makes everything so hard. I hate you because I can’t really get you out of my mind. I hate you because I really, really want you. I hate you because I like you so much and it’s really hard.

But every hate punches this kind of reality that I really like you. Yes. I like you so much that it really hurts me already.

Seriously sya talaga yung ideal guy ko :( 

• Cute. Tupanginang cute talaga nya. First time ko palang syang nakita sa internet hutangina napamura talaga ako sa sobrang kakyutan nya. Tupangina talaga hindi ko macontain ang feelz ko shet ang cute nya talaga sobra. Lalo na kapag tumatawa sya hutanginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa bukang buka bibig pero sobra sobra sobrang cute nya. Sya lang talaga yung lalaking nakita kong ganon. Sobrang cute tumawa. 
• Mature. Mature magisip. Mature yung katawan muwahaha chos oo mukha talaga syang tatay kasi ang laki ng katawan nya tsaka medyo mataba sya. Pero hutangina yun nga yung cute eh. Tsaka yung mukha nya talaga tupangina ang cute sobra huhuhuhu
• Matanggad. Wth tapos sabi nya gustong gusto nya pa daw tumanggad, as in yun yung wish nya buong taon hahahahaha pero ayon hindi daw ata natupad. Hahaha
• Maputi. Kaso sensitive yung skin nya. Pero inaalagaan nya. Jusme halata namang alagang alaga tong balat na to hahahahaha
• WISE. Sabi ng mga members sya daw yung may pinakamataas na IQ sa kanila. Hahaha halata naman. Mga trip nya palang eh. Tsaka kapag nangtitrick sila hahaha ang galing nya gumawa ng palusot, diskarte. Basta hahaha
• Sweet. Shet. Hindi ko to kayang iexplain. Ang sweet nya. Hahaha yung first love nya kinantahan nya daw noon. Huta tapos kinanta nya sa isang show yon, hutangina ang galing nakakaenlab hotaaaaaangina. Tsaka tupa naman kung itreat nya yung ka-otp nya hahahahaha grabe sana ako na lang yon tupa
• Straightforward sya. Kapag may ayaw sya sinasabi nya agad para maayos. Kaso minsan sa sobrang straightforward nya nagmumukha na syang offensive. Pero ewan ko ang cute nya kasi sa ganon ang unique kasi hehehehe. Tapos kapag alam nyang nakakaoffend sya gumagawa sya ng sweet moves para makabawi. I mean, katulad nung sa sesame, naoffend nya siguro yung mga members kasi pinagalitan nya ng over yung mga nagkakamali kasi kinabukasan na yung comeback. Tapos gumawa na lang sila dongwoo ng paraan para maalis yung bad atmosphere tapos siguro ayon narealize nya na mali yung way ng pagsasalita nya tapos nakiusap sya sa manager nila na palabasin muna sila kahit saglit lang para magunwind tapos binilan nya ng dinner yung mga members nya kasi kawawa naman daw pagod na daw silang lahat kakapractice magdamag. Huhuhuhuhuhu ang bait nya :(
• Mabait - not in the sense na hindi sya napatol kapag may nangaaway sa kanya. Actually sya nga yung nangbubully eh hahaha. Pero marunong syang magmahal tsaka magappreciate ng mga tao. Kahit sobrang kulit nya marunong syang magpahalaga ng mga tao. 
• Dreamer. Persevering. May passion din sya sa buhay. At gusto nya daw yun ipagpatuloy hanggang sa mamatay sya. 
• Religious. Diba may ibang group sa kpop na anti christ? Pero iba sila. Sabi nya sa new challenge, “I really thank God, our father. I’m here right now because my family and Woollim Entertainment’s staff including CEO Lee Jungyeop who all believed in me, my friends and the members whom I love are with me. To Inspirits who protect and believe in INFINITE! I will pray for all of you to always be blessed.” Si God ang una nyang pinasalamatan :’)
• Good listener. Sabi ni hoya sa isang interview, kapag naglalabas sya ng hinaing si sunggyu yung palaging makikinig sa kanya. (Isa din yun sa pinakagusto ko sa lalaki. Kasi ayoko talaga ng mga taong hindi marunong makinig. Hehe)
• Sense of humor. THE BESSSSSSSSST. Sabi nga nung isang host sa weekly idol ba yon, isa daw si Sunggyu sa funniest idols hahaha. De pero lakas talaga sense of humor ni sunggyu. Definitely my ideal type.
• Unique yung personality. SOBRA. Hindi ko alam kung pano ko ieexplain yung unique side nya. Basta unique sya. Haha.
• Fashion sense. Gusto ko yung pananamit nya. Ewan ko kung bakit hindi magets ng ibang members yung style nya hahaha. Pero parehas kasi kaming mahilig sa tiger prints tsaka comfortable na damit. Ayon. Actually sa mv ng she’s back ata yon o come back again, parehas kami ng pants hahahaha. Omg. 
• Manly side. Ayon. Ang pinakaturn off kasi sakin yung lalaking hindi kayang depensahan yung sarili nya. Pero sya, uuuuuuuuuugh hahahaha gusto ko talaga yung pagiging manly nya. Pero may side din sya na childish. Gusto ko din yon. Hahaha ano ba yan lahat ng side nya gusto ko. De. Ewan ko. Para kasing ang attractive ng mga lalaking naturally manly pero may side ding childish na pinapakita nya lang sa mga taong malalapit sa kanya. Parang ang cute kasi hahaha.
• Lots and lots of reasons 

Naguunfriend ako ng mga tao sa facebook, basta di ko kilala, basta pangit dp, basta mabantot pangalan. Wala lang. Hindi ko kasi maadd yung mga gwapong nakikilala ko, or basta mga dapat iadd sa future kasi dati accept lang ako ng accept hanggang umabot sa limit yung friends ko. Kaya ayon. 

Minsan kahit yung mga kakilala ko gusto ko ding iunfriend. Pero hindi pwede. Mehehehehehehehehehhhhh awtz diba

Sa tumblr din naguunfollow ako. Dati follow ako ng follow para pag viniew nila yung blog ko magandahan sila tapos ifafollow nila ako. Ganon ako kahayok sa followers noon. Hanggang sa napagod na ko sa ginagawa ko. Parang narealize ko na yung ginagawa kong yon eh parang pagpiplease na din sa mga tao na gustuhin kung ano yung ginagawa ko or pinapakita ko. Wala na akong pakialam sa mga post ko. Actually puro na nga lang ako reblog ng mga pictures kasi yun din naman yung ginagawa ko nung baguhan palang ako, nung as in enjoy na enjoy ko pa ang tumblr. Ngayon kasi puro personal na ang mga blogs, bale kapag puro ka reblog eww ka, kasi personal na ang in. Kapag naman naging personal ka, kailangan nakakatawa mga posts mo, o kung hindi, kailangan yung parang masyadong formal na tipong pagiisipan mo ng ilang oras yung mga posts mo para lang makakuha ng madaming notes hanggang sa maospital ka sa pagod. Wala na kong pakialam sa followers kasi kahit naman anong gawin mo unfair ang lahat. Ifafollow nila kung sino ang gwapo or maganda or famous or sexy or pwede nilang kapitan para maging famous din sila. Eh hindi naman ako ganon. Hindi naman ako magpapakahirap maki-fit in. Di naman nila ako pinapalamon. Wala naman akong mapupulot na maganda sa mga ganyan ganyan.

So ayon nga kung saan saan na tayo napunta. Basta ang bilis ko magunfollow ngayon. Napansin ko na ang dami ko palang finallow noon na sobrang jejemon. Hoy. May mga jejemon talaga sa tumblr. Madami. At wag kang magpaimpakta kakasabi na lahat ng tumblerista, cool. Hindi yon ganon. Hindi porket may tumblr ka eh blogger ka na. Hindi ganon kadali yon okay. At dun sa mga inaunfollow ko, wag kayong magdrama dyan okay. Wag kayong maginarte kesyo finallow ko kayo tapos bigla ko din kayong iaunfollow in the end. Kesyo nagustuhan ko kayo noon tapos ngayon iiwan ko kayo. Ang pagkain nga pumapakla kapag napanis eh, ugali nyo pa kaya. Lahat ng tao nagbabago okay. At kung may isang taong nagsawa sayo, hindi pwedeng magiinarte ka hanggang sa isuko mo na lahat ng meron ka. Katangahan yan. Wala kang ibang pwedeng gawin kundi matuto na lang at tanggapin ang reyalidad na sa mundong ito, walang permanente. Ayos hahaha dami kong alam shet

Sa twitter natatamad ako magunfollow kasi wala naman din silang pakialam hahahaha bye

You’re so far to reach. You might fall in love with someone else. And the worst part is, you could and you probably will. And I don’t have any choice but to accept everything because that’s reality. You fall in love with someone who doesn’t really know you exist and they do things perfectly with or without you. And they can remain happy with or without you. 

Bullshits.

“Back when I was in highschool, there’s this friend that I really liked, my first love. We were at the same school band at that time, she was the keyboardist and I was the vocalist. She was so beautiful. We weren’t originally close at first, but then I don’t even know why, I’d always find myself waiting for her everytime practice ended.”

—	Sunggyu’s First Love Story (Sunggyu confessed to her with the song 인형의 꿈 (dream of a doll), they dated for a while, but then she dropped out of school and they never contacted each other again since then.)

Hindi ako mahilig maglinis ng bahay. Hindi naman sa ayaw ko. Naglilinis ako actually. Pero gusto ko kapag naglinis ako as in totally malinis talaga. Naglilinis ako kapag gusto ko lang, ayoko nang sinasabihan akong maglinis, ayokong maglinis dahil lang sa sinabihan ako. Kapag inuutusan ako, usually mas lalo akong tinatamad na ewan. Ayoko kasi ng naglilinis para sa iba. Gusto ko kapag naglinis ako yung tipong tatagal ng malinis tsaka maayos. Ayoko ng maglilinis ako tapos maya maya gugulo na naman. Nauurat ako ng ganon. 

Isa pa sa pinakaayaw ko yung tipong nageenjoy ako sa isang bagay tapos bigla akong uutusan or aabalahin. Hutangina nakakainis talaga yung ganon. Ayoko din ng pinipilit ako. Kung gusto kong kumilis kikilos ako okay. Ayoko lang talaga ng pinipilit ako.

Kapag may ginagawa ako para sa ibang tao, gusto ko naappreciate nila yon. Wala lang. Naooffend ako kapag yung tipong nagsasacrifice na nga ng isang bagay para sa kanya, iisipan ka pa ng masama. Hutanginang shet nakakaurat yung ganon.

Ayoko ng mga taong hindi marunong tumanaw ng utang na loob.

Naiinis ako sa mga taong reklamo ng reklamo pero hindi naman kumikilos. Except kay Gyu.

Nakakainis yung mga taong halos patayin ka na sa sobrang pagkicriticize tsaka sa sobrang panghuhusga eh kung tutuusin ganon din naman sila sa sarili nila. 

Pwe nakakaurat ang mga bagay bagay

I want to travel along somewhere nice with chen or gyu. We would do weird things and laugh our asses up until we can’t breathe anymore. We would walk our dogs around some peaceful parks and chat about things that made us laugh. And then we’ll shop together and we’ll search for the cutest things and have book hunting and visit CD stores and hang out in toy stores and be young and wild and happy and have some coffee while listening to music when we get tired. In some sunny days, we would do swimming in a cool beach and take millions of photos together. We would play together and chase each other and scare each other while swimming in the deepest part we could swim. And when the night comes, we would lie in the ground and look at the stars and talk about our life wishes and plans and talk about our greatest memories and share inside jokes and talk about random things. We would go to amusement parks also and hop in the scariest rides even if we see each other’s scared faces. He knows I am afraid of heights so he would take me to the highest ferris wheel, I know he’s scared of bloody, creepy things so I would take him into the scariest haunted house around. We would go to a planetarium and visit a zoo then explore a huge oceanarium (aquarium) and have some fun with the animals. We would chat and chat and chat in random places. And when it rains, we would chase each other like what we used to do when we were kids and hug each other in the middle of a crying cloud and whisper random and funny things into each other’s ears. And we would hold hands while walking to the bus stop and fall asleep into each other’s shoulders during a heavy traffic. And when we’re bored he would go into my house and bring popcorn and potato chips and sodas and ice cream and a lot of scary and romantic movies and we would have a movie marathon and scream at the top of our lungs when the scariest part of the movie suddenly pop out the screen. And we would watch our favorite tv shows and stay up late for the cartoons and we  would laugh out loud with our serious faces. And we would play music with the loudest volume and sing and dance like it’s the end of the world. And we would put hilarious face paints and take pictures and print it out and paste it in our magical photo album. And we would write each other love letters in the middle of the night and read it when the morning comes. And he would make me a yummy break fast he practiced days before and I would make him hot chocolates and greet the morning with our happy faces. 

We would make billions of memories and live happily and contented.

One of the coolest type of being in love is when you don’t really expect anything from him at all. You know he couldn’t give you the love you think you deserve, but you’d still love him no matter what. You’d be always there to support him and care for him and treat him special because you know he makes you happy even though he doesn’t give a damn shit about your existence. You will always love him, even if it’s hard for him to grant the love you’ve always wished to receive since forever.

Facts about Chloe. (For future purposes)

Name: Keanna Chloe Baltazar Navarro
Position: Main Vocalist 

1. Has an older sister who is 7 years older than her
2. Chloe likes rock, r&B, pop songs. Also goes for old, sweet songs.
3. Chloe fell in love with Exo when she was in 2nd year of high school, that’s why she unexpectedly became interested in kpop. She eventually loved Infinite and considered herself as an inspirit. She became a Sunggyu-biased since then.
4. Chloe’s first bias in Kpop was Kim Jongdae, and is still a big fan of him. Literally a big fan.
5. Chloe’s not a very good dancer. Not even a good dancer. Not even a dancer. Chloe kind of dislikes dancing. She’s one of the slowest persons in the world who could understand a simple dance step. When she was in 2nd year of high school, she watched Mama, History, I Got A Boy almost every minute of each day - and never memorized even just a step in any of the said songs. 
6. Chloe can’t sleep without her ears covered.
7. Chloe isn’t an athletic person. She would just watch music videos of her favorite bands with her friends during PE Classes while everyone in their class does sports.
8. When she was younger, she wanted to be a stewardess just because her mother said stewardesses are beautiful. 
9. Chloe’s ideal type is someone who has good skin, unique personality, talented, witty guys.
10. She is very sensitive who gets offended easily. But also recovers her mood after some minutes because she’s quite moody.
11. She likes guys who act cool and sexy and has its way to attract girls but seriously loyal to those who mean alot to him.
12. She gets weird and quiet when she feels awkward. When nervous, she will continuously admit it but doesn’t act like she’s nervous at all.
13. She hates insensitive and immature people who only think about their selves.
14. She admits that she’s an introvert. She enjoys listening to music, reading magazines, blogging, having movie marathons in her own room. Even if she doesn’t have her own room. He he he.
15. Chloe’s favorite numbers are 10 and 24. 
16. Chloe dislikes being waken up in the morning when she enjoys her sleep.
17. Chloe actually hates it when someone disturbs her when she enjoys what she is doing at the moment.
18. She hates having regrets because she’s the type of person who can’t easily move on without getting a solution.
19. Chloe is quite sensitive to her height and age. Especially age. That’s why she didn’t include her birthdate in her facts. He he i dont want to explain this ehmehgehd
20. Chloe hates being ignored.
21. Some of her favorite songs aside from Exo and Infinite’s songs are 2ne1’s Lonely, CNBlue’s Lovelight, SNSD’s I Got A Boy and Kissing You
22. Chloe likes dogs.
23. Chloe also likes pizza, fried chicken, fries, spaghetti and cookies and cream stuff.
24. Chloe likes romantic stuff but admits that she’s corny and pa-hard to get when liking someone. She likes sweet guys who will do its very best to win her heart and someone who will surprise her until the end. Even though she’s not that pretty nor high class woman. She wants a guy who will accept her and her dorky side.

Narealize ko na kapag mahal mo yung isang tao, magiging masaya ka na din basta masaya din sya. Ipagpapatuloy mo yung pagmamahal mo kahit na alam mong malabo ka nyang mahalin pabalik. Hindi ka magsasawa kahit sobrang gulo, hindi ka mapapagod kahit masyadong mahirap. Makita mo lang na masaya sya at ligtas, kuntento ka na.

Chos. 

Bye.

As a fan. Asa ka ng asa na baka sa mga malalabong posibilidad magsimula yung love story nyo ng bias mo. Baka matulad ka sa mga nababasa mo sa asianfanfics at korean dramas. Baka kakapunta mo pala sa concert mapansin yon ng idol mo tapos kilalanin ka. Baka magkaroon ng Search For The Bride ang We Got Married tapos mapili ka kasama ng bias mo. 

Yung tipong kahit alam mong imposible talaga, may maliit na parte pa din sa puso mo ang umaasa sa mga posibilidad na yan. Na ultimong pati mga milagro eh kinakapitan mo na din, mapansin ka lang ng bias mo.

Lufet natin mga teh.

Mahilig ako sa science simula Grade 3. Pagdating ng second year, wala na akong naintindihan. He he he. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ayaw ko ng biology. Hmmm ayos lang naman, magegets mo naman sya kapag as in pinagtuunan mo talaga ng pansin lahat. Kaso wala lang. Nakakaurat kasi si Mam kaya hindi ko sya pinapakinggan hahaha. 

Totoo yon. Kahit favorite na favorite mo yung subject, kapag nangdadown naman yung teacher tsaka kapag wala ka talagang magets sa way ng pagtuturo ng teacher mo tapos ikaw pa yung sisisihin in the end, tatamarin ka talaga. Tapos puro powerpoint powerpoint eh hindi mo makita hutangina. Pagdating ng quiz magugulat ka na lang sa mga tanong, di mo alam na nageexist pala yung mga ganong bagay. 

Wala talaga akong natutunan hu hu hu. Sorry. Alam kong may kasalanan din ako kasi tinamad ako. Pero hindi talaga eh hahahahaha. 

Siguro sa 100 na tinuro ni Mam, 5 lang natutunan ko. Chos. 

De. 

Seryoso yon.

Mukhang 5 nga lang talaga.

Hahaha

Alam nyo hindi na ko magtataka kapag mahihirapan ako sa 3rd year sa science. Lalo na kapag tinanong ako kung ano natutunan ko nung 2nd year. Shet hirap.

Pero mahilig pa din ako sa science. Yung science na simple lang. Yung pang elementary lang. Mahilig ako sa space. Lahat ng meron sa space. Planets, stars, nebulas, galaxies. Ewan ko kung ano pang gusto ko sa science hahaha yun lang ata. Chos. Ewan. Yoko na magisip.

Basta ayoko ng biology tapos.

To Chen and Gyu,

I’m so in love with you. 

And it gets kinda hard.

I’m sorry.

Love,

Unnoticed fan

Bago matulog, palagi ko munang pinapatugtog yung album ni sunggyu na Another Me. Kahit na maiwanan na ko sa baba (Actually ayoko talaga naiiwan sa baba kasi lalang hahahaha) basta marinig ko lang boses ni gyu, keri lang. 

Tuwing nasa kama na ko, hindi ako makatulog kasi palagi kong naiisip si gyu. Yung boses ni gyu. Paulit ulit nagpiplay sa isip ko yung boses nya. Yung feeling kapag naririnig ko yung boses nya. Tapos yung future. Kung ano ginagawa nya sa oras na yon. Kung anong gagawin ko kapag nakita ko sya. Basta puro ganon.

Napansin ko lang na yung mga tracks sa album ni gyu, parang malungkot yung feeling. Lalo na dun sa part ng Only Tears. Tuwing naririnig ko yon parang nalulungkot ako na naiiyak. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Iba yung power ng mga songs ni Gyu. I mean, masyadong powerful, na tipong kapag napakinggan mo mamumove ka talaga ng kanta. As in damang dama mo talaga. 

Dun sa video ng only tears na pinost ko dito sa blog, may part don na parang may tumulong something na liquid sa mata ni gyu. Na as in dalang dala pati kulay ng eyeliner. Hindi ko alam kung umiyak ba sya o pinapawisan lang masyado. Pero alam mo yung feeling na kumakanta yung bias mo tapos nakatitig ka lang sa mga mata nya, tapos mapapansin mong parang umiiyak sya. Shit. Mismong sa sarili mo hindi mo mapigilang masaktan. 

Narealize ko lang na dumating na ko sa point kung saan nasasaktan din ako kapag nakikita kong nasasaktan yung bias ko. 

Ayokong makitang malungkot yung bias ko. 

Makita ko lang syang masaya, sasaya na din ako. 

Top 30 Favorite Korean Songs 041513

1. Only Tears
2. Angel
3. Lovelight
4. Kissing You
5. Lonely
6. 60 Seconds
7. I Got A Boy
8. She Is
9. Stand By Me
10. Mama
11. Baby Don’t Cry
12. History
13. Paradise
14. Be Mine
15. Shine
16. Before The Dawn
17. Spy
18. What Is Love
19. Come Back Again
20. The Chaser
21. Two Moons
22. I Need You
23. She’s Back
24. Nothing’s Over
25. In The Summer
26. Machine
27. Dream Girl
28. The Boys
29. Beautiful
30. 41 Days

I’m so in love with you.